Validation

A key component to healing is validation. When someone confirms you have indeed experienced pain, a sense of relief comes over the body. It helps you feel listened to and cared for.

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Validation is acknowledging a person's thoughts, feelings, experiences, etc. It can be verbal or nonverbal, such as a hug, a look of concern, a kind gesture, etc.
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Invalidation is damaging and can lead to re-traumatization. It can cause feelings of self-doubt (did that really happen to me?), low self-esteem, and low self-worth.
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Sometimes you might hear a mixture of the two, where they say, "yeah that sounds tough but…." Anything after that "but" invalidates what was said before. In essence, it's mixing the good with the bad, which means it's overall bad and invalidates you.
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Let's use a Biblical illustration.
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The Bible speaks of the good, pure dough (validation) being mixed with a little bit of yeast (sin, invalidation). Pretty soon that small amount of yeast has taken over the entire dough, fermenting it. No part of that dough is purely dough anymore. This is how it is when people mix validation with invalidation. (Matthew 16:6, 12; 1 Corinthians 5:6; Galatians 5:9)
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Usually validation comes from safe people, which can be a therapist, a support group member, or caring loved ones.
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Here are some examples of how to validate someone. 

• I believe you.
• That was a wise choice.
• You deserve (respect, safety, freedom, etc.)
• It makes sense that you're feeling (an emotion) because of (the situation).
• You are a (strong, brave, courageous, etc) person for enduring (the situation).

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What are some ways someone has validated you? Comment below.
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