 Since May is Mental Health Awareness month and AAPI (Asian American Pacific Islander) Heritage month, we will combine the two and talk about Asian American mental health. Statistics
Let’s look at some mental health statistics within the Asian American community.
While the last statistic only talks about southeast Asian Americans, it would likely be the same for all Asian Americans, if not more. In other words, more likely than not, an Asian American has grown up seeing or experiencing some form of abuse. Why is this the case? What are some issues that are creating mental health issues? Internal Reasons Many internal reasons, or things that happen within the home, affect one’s mental health within the Asian American community. We’ll look at three of them: shame, generational curse, and parentification. Asians shame their family members for everything from academic performance to physical appearance to marital duties. The phrase “what will people say” or “what will people think” is used frequently when one steps outside the acceptable norms of the Asian culture. They are shamed into silence or fear. Shame removes one’s freedom to think, speak, and be authentic. It’s a tactic to control and manipulate someone. In other words, the Asian community uses shame in an abusive way. A generational curse or generational trauma is another internal cause of mental health issues within the Asian community. Exodus 34:7 talks about how a parent's traits are passed down to the third and fourth generations. Science has proven how mental health traits and disorders can be genetically inherited. In the Asian community, abusive traits have been passed down for generations. Abuse has been normalized in this community. But it does not mean it is right. God never said it was okay to abuse someone under any circumstance, even if it’s cultural. To break this generation curse, one needs to see a trauma-informed therapist who is either an Asian American or well-versed in that culture. Support groups or group therapy can also be helpful. One can unlearn these abusive tendencies with time, persistence, and hard work. Parentification occurs when a child must act as the parent to their siblings and/or parent. In the Asian culture, it is expected that the oldest child(ren) will take care of the younger siblings as if they are the third parent. It is normalized as being acceptable. Comments such as “that’s what we do in our culture," “that's what we did when we were growing up," or "who's going to take care of your brother/sister" are excuses parents use to shame their oldest child(ren) into the parental role. This is quite damaging to a child as they are being forced to become adults before they should be. They lose their childhood as they take on adult responsibilities. This is considered emotional abuse and parental neglect. It certainly is not what God intended when He instructed parents to train their children (Proverbs 22:6). External Reasons They are also many external reasons, or things that happen outside the home, that affect one's mental health within the Asian American community. Let's look at three of them: bullying, assimilation, and the "model minority." As a new immigrant, bullying happens quite frequently. One can be bullied for various things, such as being from a different culture, eating different food, having a foreign accent, wearing non-American clothing, etc. It can be especially difficult for immigrant children when their American peers bully them at school. The jeering can be overwhelmingly difficult to deal with, which might lead to anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. To survive in their new environment, immigrants quickly learn to assimilate so their peers can accept them. They learn how to adapt to the American culture by watching American TV and listening to American radio stations. They even go so far as to learn how to speak and act "white" around their white counterparts and "black" around their black counterparts. Lastly, the "model minority" is a racial stereotype where the public views the Asian community as well-behaved and submissive. It makes it difficult for Asians to be assertive about basic things that another race would be able to do without experiencing backlash. Barriers There are many barriers within the Asian community from seeking mental health resources. We'll discuss three of them: stigma, shame, and limited mental health resources for Asians. Mental health is still a considerable stigma within the Asian culture, especially amongst older generations or recent immigrants. The culture also uses shame to keep someone from seeking mental health services. Stereotypical thinking of "only crazy people need help" or "there's nothing wrong with me" discourages the Asian community from seeking help. Additionally, Asians are concerned with how others perceive them, especially in their own community. Protecting one's reputation is vitally important, and some will go to great lengths to protect it, even denying there's a problem. However, some overcome the stigma and shame and seek therapy anyway, sometimes secretly. For many years in America, there were limited to no Asian American therapists or therapists who truly understood the issues impacting the Asian diaspora. So, Asians spent most of therapy explaining their cultural norms than receiving culturally sensitive psychotherapy. This usually led to frustration, discouragement, and a lack of truly being understood. As a result, some eventually stopped going to therapy. However, the tide changed with the pandemic, which brought increased awareness and organization to Asian American mental health resources. Now time can be spent in culturally sensitive psychotherapy than explaining one's cultural norms. But more Asian American therapists are needed, especially in less Asian populated towns and states. So what about those who won't see a therapist? They usually talk to their close friends and family about it. Asians have been shamed into being silent to prevent them from sharing troubling things happening at home. It's considered shameful to "air one's dirty laundry" outside the home. So it's discussed internally, which might be unsafe in an abusive situation. The Asian community has learned from childhood to put on a mask when they leave home, pretending everything is fine when it's not. This is why most people probably won’t know an Asian American is struggling with mental health issues until they verbalize it or it's gotten to a point where the individual and/or family can’t hide it anymore. How to Create a Safe Space How do you respond to someone who has trusted you and opened up to you about their mental health concerns? How can you ensure you're creating a safe space for them? I will share with you some tools that I use as a health coach to create a safe space for my clients. When I first learned about health coaching, I immediately saw how these principles were Christlike as they taught HOW to be like Him. First of all, be supportive. Most people want support, not unsolicited advice. Asian Americans tend to get quite a bit of unsolicited advice from their family and culture. It's rare that someone will be supportive without having their own agenda. What does being supportive look like?
Secondly, reflectively listen to them. This is a term used in health coaching. It has two parts to it. First of all, actively listen to them without figuring out how to respond to them. Listen just to listen without any agenda. Refrain from interrupting as this might communicate disrespect, frustrate them, and make them feel unheard. After they finish talking, wait about 5 seconds before responding. Sometimes, they might experience an "ah-ha" moment in this moment of pausing. So this pause can be therapeutic. The second part of reflective listening is making a reflective statement. A reflective statement mirrors what the other person said. It's like holding up a mirror to the other person. Many times people just need to hear themselves talk to figure out the answer for themselves because they are the expert in their lives. Reflective statements help with this process. An example of a reflective statement is…"you feel more comfortable at your friend's house than at home" (7, 8). Thirdly, ask open-ended questions, which are questions that cannot be answered with one word or phrase. Usually, open-ended questions start with how, what, tell me, and sometimes why. Many times when questions begin with why it can sound judgmental. So be careful in how you use the word why. Another way to ask why is by asking for their reasons, such as "what are some reasons you want to change" (7, 8). Some other examples of open-ended questions are:
Whenever you respond, rotate between making a reflective statement and asking an open-ended question at a ratio of 1:1. Many times, we have a tendency to ask multiple questions in a row, which can make a person feel like they are being interrogated and not supported (7, 8). Another way to make reflective statements is to acknowledge, validate, and affirm them. Acknowledge their situation. Validate their feelings. Affirm their strengths. These types of reflections will do wonders in building rapport, feeling heard, and creating a safe space (7, 8). Lastly, you may find yourself in a situation where it would be beneficial to give advice. Check-in with yourself first to ensure you're not advising to glorify yourself or because you know what's best for them. Once that's squared away, ask their permission first before giving advice. Here's how to do it. Ask them what they know about the topic you want to advise. After they finish, ask them if it would be okay to share additional information on the topic. WAIT for their response. If they say no, respect their boundary to keep rapport intact. If they say yes, give them a small bite-size chunk of the information to prevent information overload. Then ask them what they thought about it (7, 8). Here's how it would go.
These are just some things you can do to create a safe space. There are many more tools we use in health coaching. Hopefully, this will help you to get started. Consider practicing it with your loved ones so it can flow easily when a friend in need comes to you for help. What's one thing you're taking away from this blog post? I'd love to hear it. Asian American Mental Health Resources Here are some Asian American Mental Health Resources, which can also be found on our Resources page.
References
1 Comment
Divinia
6/2/2022 03:36:50 pm
Wow, this is very well explained and raises awareness in a detailed and enriching way. Thank you very much! Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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AuthorJourney to Wholeness is a blog written by Lillian Simon (except where indicated). She is a Christian who wears many hats, including being a nurse, health coach, mentor, writer, editor, and graphic designer. She is passionate about sharing health information to inspire others to find practical and natural ways to heal their body, soul, and spirit. Archives
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